Gazing into the Mirror After Non-Sleep Deep Rest: A New Layer of Shadow Work

Non-sleep deep rest (NSDR) is a state of conscious rest in which the body is deeply relaxed, but the mind remains aware. Unlike traditional meditation, where focus is often on stilling the mind or cultivating specific mental states, NSDR—especially in the form of Yoga Nidra—guides awareness through the body, gently activating the parasympathetic nervous system and resetting the brain. It's a powerful portal to the subconscious. You don’t drift or strive, you surrender.

After practicing NSDR lying down, I sat up and looked across the room, five feet away, into a mirror. There was sunlight pouring in from a window to my left, illuminating one side of my face while the other remained completely shadowed.

What happened next was not metaphor, it was embodiment.

I stayed with the physical sensations from the practice, as I focused my gaze on the shadowed side of my face. And she emerged. The dark feminine. The part of me I’ve done inner work to acknowledge, but never visually faced. There was no fear, just presence. I didn’t try to adjust my expression. I didn’t flinch. I said hello.

This was a profound moment because my system is highly sensitive to darkness. I’ve spent most of my life shielding myself from horror, thriller scenes, or violent imagery. Even hearing them causes my body to dissociate. But this was different. This wasn’t horror, it was sacred.

She didn’t haunt me. She stood with me.

Then I shifted my gaze to the light side of my face, bathed in sun. I moved my hair away and kept looking. Light and shadow. Duality, reflected back.

What I saw wasn’t filtered. It wasn’t softened. I saw sadness. Manipulation. Rage. Love. Devotion. Wisdom. I saw a woman fully becoming. And I didn’t look away.

This moment wasn’t just about shadow work, it was shadow integration. It was choosing not to exile the parts of me that are difficult to sit with. Because the longer we push those parts aside, the more they act out in unconscious ways~ begging for acknowledgment.

Yesterday, I alchemized. I held hands with both the light and the dark. I saw what I needed to see to soften toward myself, and extend that same empathy toward others.

This is the power of looking…really looking…after NSDR. The nervous system is quiet, the masks are off, and what’s left is truth. Not curated. Not polished. Just present. And in that presence, transformation becomes possible.